Screw you internet, I want my brain back

Dear Internet:

Screw you. I’m tired of you. I reject you. I’m sick of what you did to my brain.

My brain used to be pretty great–easily distracted, but that’s what made me creative, abstract, non-linear, out-of-the-box, and all those other buzzword adjectives. It also used to be able to concentrate. It used to be able to do work. It used to be able to imagine.

Not any more, thanks to you, stupid internet. I have the attention span of a gnat now. I work at a snail’s pace. And I can wallow in your dopamine-infusing womb for hours at a time.

You know why the days seem so short nowadays? Because the internet sucks up freakin’ hours of them. HOURS! What the hell could I be doing with that extra time? Working out? Finding a cure for cancer? Blogging? Connecting with people who really matter in my life? Writing that screenplay that will finally take me to the next level? I don’t know, because I’m too busy being on the stupid internet.

And let’s face it, my browsing is stupid browsing. Seriously stupid browsing. Probably 70% is on Reddit. Yeah, stupid Reddit. Stupid, stupid, stupid Reddit. Actually, Reddit’s not stupid, but it’s seriously been draining the vitality out of me. And ultimately, what good does Reddit serve for me? Is anybody going to say to me, “Wow, you know all the details of how this stupid conservative news channel reported this stupid incident between this stupid conservative politician with the President? Well, let me cast you in that role/buy your screenplay/pour you a milkshake.” No, instead, all that happens is I give myself a teeny little virtual shot of dopamine when I find an article that I like, a picture that amuses me, or an insightful comment thread.

Ironically, when I surf the web, it’s relaxing, but in an unrelaxing sort of way. Surfing the web is less of a pleasurable respite than a mindless stupor. When I read a book when I’m sleepy, I get sleepier until I fall asleep; when I read the internet when I’m sleepy, I become less awake, but I actually have trouble falling asleep. I’m not as awake as if I were awake, yet, I’m not as relaxed as if I were sleeping–it’s a nether region. The internet is limbo.

Quite frankly, my brain’s gotten addicted to the internet, especially Reddit. And it’s ironic, because I would never allow myself to get addicted to a physical drug. The idea of having to smoke/snort/inject something in me every day to feel pleasure is horrifying to me. Heck, I didn’t even start drinking coffee until a year ago, and even now, I drink only one cup a day max.

But this internet addiction has insidiously acclimatized itself into my brain. And yes, it really is an addiction. And addictions need to be kicked by going cold turkey. Alcoholics can’t drink ever again because one drink can send them right back to their old addiction groove.

Also noteworthy is the lack of imagery my brain experiences when browsing the internet. When I read the internet, the imagery is given to me already, or it’s non-fiction pseudo–news articles or opinions that don’t require any visualization of anything. You know something horrifying? Probably 98% of what I read nowadays is NON-FICTION. NON-FICTION! AS IN NON-FREAKIN-FICTION!!! Non-fiction was the book section that I loathed when I was younger–it was all truth and history and facts and stuff, and I wanted the time traveling, the dragons, and the magical spells.

The brain is plastic, capable of rewiring itself to accommodate the circumstances that it’s consistently subjected to. This is for better or for worse. I’m sure that currently, the part of my brain that imagines and visualizes things has shrunk greatly. I don’t daydream nearly as often as I used to. How in the world am I supposed to be able to imagine the storyline of  a screenplay without a well-toned Imagination? For Pete’s sake, how am I supposed to imagine a better life for myself and the steps needed to reach that life without my Imagination? How could I believe that anything could improve without my Imagination? How could I possibly have HOPE without my Imagination?

All that ends now. I have not touched reddit in 2 or 3 days. I read a Heinlein short story “Requiem” this morning (SPOILER COMING)…

…a wonderful little piece about a rich old man whose dreams of landing on the moon were always deferred by the practical necessities of life. I visualized him struggling in pain as his decrepit ribs cracked under the rocket’s acceleration. I saw him wincing as he exited the spaceship. I saw him resting on a moon rock, gazing out at the moonscape, seeing the blue earth in the distance nestled in the endless black sky, knowing that the pain in his body didn’t matter, that nothing mattered but the contentment that he had finally reached the moon.

And along the way, I had the thought: hey, our atmosphere the only thing that prevents us from seeing a black sky during daylight? Pictures from the moon taken in its daylight still feature a black sky and stars. I assume our atmosphere lets in and reflects the blue light that makes for a wonderful sunny day, so without the atmosphere, we’d still have that same harsh, stark white light that is always seen from the moon. So good job atmosphere: without it, our world would look much uglier. And also, we’d be dead on account of that no air to breathe thing. I’m not saying that that thought is Plato-esque or anything, but it’s definitely not something I would have had if I weren’t imagining scenes from this story.

I know that practically, I can never be rid of the internet entirely–I still need it for email, keeping in touch, and buying things cheaply, and keeping up with Stanford sports (that is not going away). But the mindless browsing stops now. I’m getting my brain back.

The Best Fan Mail Ever

EMAIL 1:

Subject: Mega Shark Vs Giant Octopus

Dear Vic,

We fucking loved your movie.

-Lee, Lee, and Joel

———————————
EMAIL 2:

Salutations Vic,

The line, “The intersection of individual paths, whether random or calculated, is what creates or destroys…,” has us bamboozled. What the fuck does this mean?

Also, we were rooting for you to get with her the entire time.

Regards,

Lee, Lee, and Joel

P.S. We still fucking love your movie

———————————
EMAIL 3:

Greetings from Socorro, NM,

To culminate our trilogy of emails tonight; we enclose a gift.

Enjoy,

Lee, Lee, and Joel

P.S. We were rooting for you.
P.P.S. We still fucking love your movie

You Know NOTHING About Mascotting!!!

“So Vic, you used to be the mascot for the Chicago Bulls? What a coincidence–I used to dress up as a character at Disneyland!”

I have this exchange not infrequently. And I try to handle it graciously, usually with something like, “Oh, that’s cool.” But really, what I’m thinking is: YOU FOOL, DON’T TRY TO COMPARE YOUR EXPERIENCE WITH MINE BECAUSE YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT MASCOTTING!!!

Professional sports mascotting is the Big Time. It’s The Show. It’s the greatest venue for a mascot, and it requires an extreme level of creativity, athleticism, fearlessness, and the ability to perform physical feats while breathing in only your own carbon dioxide. Putting on a costume at Disneyland involves putting your arm around people and posing for a camera.

So Mr. “I Wore A Goofy Costume,” I ask you: Have you ever had to veer 60 degrees to the left in a series of backhandsprings in order to avoid a referee that suddenly stepped in the way? No? Then you know nothing about mascotting.

Have you ever laid on the ground desperately hyperventilating for oxygen for 15 minutes after running a flag the size of New Hampshire around a basketball court 6 times? No? Then you know nothing about mascotting.

Did you have to wear a mouthguard while slam-dunking off a mini-trampoline to insure that you don’t knock your teeth out on the rim? No? Then you know nothing about mascotting.

Did you have an agreement with your assistant that if he ever saw you motionless on the ground for more than 5 seconds that he had to IMMEDIATELY rip off your costume head because it meant that you had passed out from lack of oxyen? No? Then you know nothing about mascotting.

Did you spend hours smashing and re-gluing pine boards for your karate skit? Have you racked your brain for sketches and videos to entertain crowds? Have you run into a spectator-accomplice carrying a monster bag of popcorn? Have you thrown a cake at an opposing fan only to hit the old lady-accomplice in the row below him? Have you pretended to rack your testicles by falling on a rail while actually racking your testicles in the process? Can you get a an entire section of crowd to cheer and hush all on your gestures? No? Well, guess what? IF YOU WORE A COSTUME AT DISNEYLAND, YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT MASCOTTING!!!

Just because you occasionally wear a Lakers jersey, it doesn’t make you Kobe Bryant.

More thoughts on this healthcare reform bill

The following essay started out as a facebook comment reply. And it just grew and grew, so now I figure it deserves a blog post of its own, so here is another rant:

Yeah, I was overstating some of my points just for the fun of ranting. I’m not saying that we don’t have a right to complain–freedom of speech is part of what makes our country great. I agree that higher taxes are not the solution, but I do think that “We shouldn’t do this because it will raise taxes!” is a piss-poor argument that gets used ad nauseum. If it raises taxes, but accomplishes something useful with those taxes, then by all means, let’s raise taxes.

Realistically of course, it’s also a matter of cutting all the waste and fraud in the system as well, but that’s another argument. As is Prop 13, which I think should be repealed. And I think gas should cost $5 a gallon, or really $1.50 per liter, except that it affects the poor unfairly. Okay, let’s leave all those for another rant.

I absolutely believe that people in a higher tax bracket should pay more for other people to have healthcare, and that healthcare is something that should be available for everybody. I don’t view healthcare as an “entitlement,” I view it as a right. Taxing people in a higher bracket may take more from them, but they’re still left with far more than the lower brackets.

I’m not wild about the healthcare bill that passed either (if a good compromise makes everybody unhappy, then this healthcare bill is the greatest compromise ever). However, to suggest that everything is worse with government intervention is a huge overstatement (how well would the police or military function as a for-profit enterprise?). Nobody’s saying that the government runs things at peak efficiency, but sometimes you need the government to run things. The success of Medicare and government-run healthcare in other countries shows what can be done when the government runs things properly. Selling cellphones should be a capitalistic business, but the healthcare industry needs to have a non-profit option, and that’s where the government comes in.

I COMPLETELY disagree with your statement that the Republicans are not to blame for the dysfunctional passing of this healthcare bill. The Republicans were TOTAL obstructionists in this process, offering useless faux-solutions, spreading lies, and inciting fear instead of working toward a solution. Their proposed solution to healthcare reform? TORT REFORM, which would have taken care of 2 freakin’ percent of healthcare costs which are increasing nearly exponentially. They shouted “SOCIALISM,” “HIGHER TAXES,” and “DEATH PANELS!” just to freak people out.

Since Obama took office, The Republican’s objective was not to do what was best for the country, but to cripple his administration so they could take over again (Rush Limbaugh: “I hope Obama fails”). Toward that end, they filibustered everything they could (even bills that they eventually voted for), they put hundreds of Presidential nominees on hold, and stalled and bickered solely to try to stop progress. And they succeeded to a certain degree–Obama originally wanted healthcare reform passed in August of 2009. And when healthcare reform was inevitable, what did they do? They shouted, “LET’S START OVER!” Did they really want to start over? No, they just wanted to stall some more. Even now, all they want to do is repeal this bill.

The Democrats are to blame for being a bunch of wussies and trying too hard to gain consensus. They kowtowed to special interests to get 61 Senate votes when they should have just gone the 51-vote reconciliation path all along. They lost the PR war by not holding pro-healthcare rallies the way the Republicans held anti-healthcare rallies. They didn’t blatantly call out the liars as liars. They inserted 200 Republican Amendments to the bill in a naive attempt to compromise and gain consensus. Instead, they should have realized that the Republicans weren’t going to vote for it regardless, and really rammed a powerful reform down the Republican throats.

Obama is to blame for not pushing hard enough–he abandoned Single Payer immediately, didn’t push enough for Public Option, and cut a sweetheart deal immediately with the drug companies. If he had pushed as hard early on as he did in the last two weeks, we might have been able to get a Single Payer Public Option Healthcare Plan that would have really worked.

The fact that not a single Republican voted for this bill reflects just how determined they are to obstruct any progress by Obama’s administration. This current bill is extremely similar to the bill proposed by Republicans when Clinton was trying to reform healthcare; Clinton rejected it because it wasn’t strong enough. And yet not a single Republican voted for it this time. There are freakin’ 200 REPUBLICAN AMENDMENTS in this bill! And you want to blame the Democrats for not trying to achieve consensus?

The fact that some Democrats voted against the bill doesn’t make it a bad bill. Some Democrats were against it because of abortion concerns, and some Democrats were against it because they felt it compromised too much.

Finally, while compromise/consensus seems like the fair thing to do, it isn’t always the best tactic. Why? Because one side can skew what is moderate by going way over to one extreme, and thereby force the compromise onto their side (Sam Malone to Diane on Cheers: “I want to have sex with you 100 times, and you want to have sex with me 0 times, so let’s compromise and have sex 50 times.”). The Republicans were well aware of this, and dug their heels in on one extreme and refused to budge, thereby achieving a LOT of concesssions from the Democrats, most notably, the loss of Single Payer and Public Option. But they still didn’t vote for it, thereby making it look like the Democrats refused to compromise, when in reality, they had no intention of voting for anything the Democrats proposed.

Soapbox so high…can’t get down…

Quit Whining And Pay Your Freakin’ Taxes

Yay, it’s tax time again. And to add to that, Obama finally got healthcare reform passed. Granted, it’s nowhere near what it needs to be (I would have loved Single Payer + Public Option), but it’s a helluvalot better than the status quo.

Naturally, with healthcare reform, people are concerned about paying more taxes. And to all those people who bitch about paying taxes, can I just say something? Grow the hell up.

Nobody likes paying taxes, but it’s always gonna be there. And you know what? If you’re part of an extremely high tax bracket, then consider yourself blessed that you earned so freakin’ much to warrant that. Seriously–you live in the greatest country in the world–don’t you think you should pay a little bit extra to have potable water, electricity, (reasonably) safe streets, and a whole lotta other stuff?

As an actor, I’ve had good years and I’ve had bad years (2009 fell in the latter category). During those good years, I was shocked at having to write a ginormous check to the government, but you know what? IT WAS STILL A BLESSING! How crazy was it that I, living the life of (as my friend so kindly put it) “a full-time dreamer” could not only earn a living acting, but earn a great living. And for doing that, yes, I deserve to pay an assload of dollars in taxes. I didn’t do it happily, but I didn’t feel ripped off by it–taxes were my penalty for living well. Hell, it almost helped assuage the “survivors’ guilt” that I feel sometimes when I think of how blessed my life is.

And if my tax dollars go to help people who are less fortunate than me to get food, shelter, and medical care, then I’m all for it. Admittedly, I feel significantly less charitable about the idea of my money being used to reward irresponsible financial executives and to kill people in countries that didn’t knock over our buildings, but the point is: our tax dollars are (theoretically) used to make our country great and take care of the less fortunate, and we’re taxed according to our ability to pay, so let’s pay our taxes and STFU.